Shtark at Heart: How the Frumshanista Goes Searching For Love
Talia Kaufman
Issue date: 12/21/09 Section: Style
Often, those of us within the Modern Orthodox world pride ourselves on our superior level of frumkeit (religiosity). We happily label ourselves by where we spent our year(s) after our high school graduation, the crowd to which we belong, but, most importantly, the way we dress. Many may feel their holy hashkafa (religious outlook) puts them levels above the immoral fashion industry that outfits the goyim and WASP wannabes. However, many of us are actually more prey to fashion conformity and labeling than are our friends whose last names fail to end in "shwartz," "berg" or "stein."
Often, when people arrive for their first year on a college campus, they begin to search for their new identity and social group. Freshmen often join the Greek System, a campus club or attend weekend parties to find their new life-long friends. However, the majority of Stern College for Women students have never actually set foot on campus as freshmen. And being that university community is so secular college, we look for other ways in which we can identify ourselves.
Welcome to Stern College Orientation: Where there is no need for nametags, for you are categorized with our infamous one-over. Upon arrival to this great institution, students on the Beren Campus divide themselves not by interests or personalities but by outfits.
This mehitza (division) between social groups provides more purposes than assisting in the decision whether to shop for KiKi Riki's leotards in Brooklyn or Seven Jeans in Bloomingdales; it provides guidelines in the search for love as well. But among the socially frustrated females that make up our student body, courtship can be quite challenging and, as we are not in the season of shopping, one might ask, "How does one become the perfect mate?"
We've become a bit of a Yeshivish University these days with the super mahmir (religiously strict) super in demand. And the crème-de-la-frum has found a way to state both their coming out and religiosity level by their choice of apparel. The display of right-wing religiosity is as much a mating-call as an excessive display of skin is for women on the opposite side of the religious spectrum.
Often, when people arrive for their first year on a college campus, they begin to search for their new identity and social group. Freshmen often join the Greek System, a campus club or attend weekend parties to find their new life-long friends. However, the majority of Stern College for Women students have never actually set foot on campus as freshmen. And being that university community is so secular college, we look for other ways in which we can identify ourselves.
Welcome to Stern College Orientation: Where there is no need for nametags, for you are categorized with our infamous one-over. Upon arrival to this great institution, students on the Beren Campus divide themselves not by interests or personalities but by outfits.
This mehitza (division) between social groups provides more purposes than assisting in the decision whether to shop for KiKi Riki's leotards in Brooklyn or Seven Jeans in Bloomingdales; it provides guidelines in the search for love as well. But among the socially frustrated females that make up our student body, courtship can be quite challenging and, as we are not in the season of shopping, one might ask, "How does one become the perfect mate?"
We've become a bit of a Yeshivish University these days with the super mahmir (religiously strict) super in demand. And the crème-de-la-frum has found a way to state both their coming out and religiosity level by their choice of apparel. The display of right-wing religiosity is as much a mating-call as an excessive display of skin is for women on the opposite side of the religious spectrum.
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 6
ag84
AG84
posted 12/29/09 @ 11:01 AM EST
I used to feel the same way but for some reason don't anymore. I'm not really sure why. I guess I feel that clothes just always have and always will say something about us. (Continued…)
ab1
posted 1/17/10 @ 11:43 AM EST
while i agree that dressing shtark is not a reliable way to determine whether someone is religious or not, I still think that not following halachik standards of sniut is a sure way to tell someone is not. (Continued…)
FrumJewInYU
YUguy
posted 1/24/10 @ 12:37 AM EST
Of course clothing can't reveal everything about a person; nobody thinks it can. But the CHOICE to dress in a manner that violates halacha (yes, the halachos of tznius are just that) clearly indicates something about a person. (Continued…)
Sanhedrin 90A fan
posted 2/04/10 @ 11:36 PM EST
I once knew a girl who was super strict with tzniut. She was also a very big slanderer who often said things that humiliated people and ruined their marriage chances, without hesitation or regret. (Continued…)
YUguy
posted 2/28/10 @ 10:14 PM EST
Re: Your Purim-edition article
Way to take my quote way out of context and use it to set up a strawman argument that neither I nor anybody I know actually promotes. (Continued…)
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