Yeshiva University Students Speak Out About Abuse
Olivia Wiznitzer
Issue date: 5/5/09 Section: Features
The Observer recently conducted a poll inquiring as to whether members of the Yeshiva University community had personally experienced any form of abuse (spousal, psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual, physical or otherwise), whether they knew someone who had been abused and their thoughts regarding the prevalence of abuse in the Orthodox Jewish community. In addition, The Observer asked how students at Yeshiva University perceived those who had undergone abuse, whether they thought a school had an obligation to keep a teacher who has been proved abusive in order to provide him with a parnassa [living], and the role of newspaper coverage in documenting abuse cases in the Orthodox community. Lastly, The Observer inquired as to student's points of views regarding whether Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbanim ought to speak out more about abuse.
In order to allow students to keep their anonymity and dignity, names have been changed to protect identities.
Gila, a Stern College for Women student, told The Observer that she was "sexually abused as a teenager by my high school boyfriend for almost two years."
She did not tell anyone about the abuse until she had broken up with him. That, she explains, was because she was in denial, and even when she did start telling people, she was very selective.
"I was very selective. I still have never told my parents. The only people who know to this day are my two best friends, one of my female teachers in Israel, my Rav, and m husband. They all believed me and were very kind and understanding about it. I was never concerned about not being believed, or shidduchim [marriage]."
Gila does not think that abuse is "any more or less common" in the Jewish community "than in any other community."
"There are sick people out there," she explains, "even in our own community. Learning Torah and keeping mitzvos [commandments] help some people control themselves, but it doesn't stop everybody with a yetzer [literally, desire; here, evil inclination]."
In order to allow students to keep their anonymity and dignity, names have been changed to protect identities.
Gila, a Stern College for Women student, told The Observer that she was "sexually abused as a teenager by my high school boyfriend for almost two years."
She did not tell anyone about the abuse until she had broken up with him. That, she explains, was because she was in denial, and even when she did start telling people, she was very selective.
"I was very selective. I still have never told my parents. The only people who know to this day are my two best friends, one of my female teachers in Israel, my Rav, and m husband. They all believed me and were very kind and understanding about it. I was never concerned about not being believed, or shidduchim [marriage]."
Gila does not think that abuse is "any more or less common" in the Jewish community "than in any other community."
"There are sick people out there," she explains, "even in our own community. Learning Torah and keeping mitzvos [commandments] help some people control themselves, but it doesn't stop everybody with a yetzer [literally, desire; here, evil inclination]."
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Noam
posted 5/11/09 @ 6:32 PM EST
Interesting to see that the students are able to comment openly about the subject discussed. Olivia,discreet reporting on your part!
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