Interview With a Transsexual Within the Orthodox Jewish Community
Issue date: 10/3/08 Section: Features
Yonina: FFB [frum from birth], and still the same.
The Observer: Would you say that becoming transsexual/ becoming a member of the opposite gender is a choice?
Yonina: I wish I could say it's a choice! Realizing that you have a body that does not fit with what your mind expects to find is a big problem. It has caused me much emotional harm and suffering over many years, and has cost me a tremendous amount - in just about every manner you can expect; financially - it is incredibly expensive to be transgendered/transsexual, as the costs of the medications (hormones, etc) are quite high and there are many things I need to do to feminize my body such as hair removal, etc. It has also cost me emotionally, spiritually, physically and so many other ways all in their own way, as you can probably imagine. When I finally do make the full transition, I will have probably spent close to $50,000 just to become the woman I know I am supposed to be. That is not cheap, and is certainly not a choice.
The Observer: If it is a choice, why would one choose to do so? If it is not, how would you describe it?
Yonina: The easiest way to describe the feelings that I have is by saying that if one morning you woke up and realized you had been transformed into a man, but your mind and heart know you are a woman, you would not feel comfortable in your new body. You would try and understand what happened, and why HaShem [God] made that curse come about. I am sure that there are those in the TS community that would say being trans is not necessarily a curse, but possibly a bracha [blessing.] To me, it is a curse, and I have to deal with the consequences of it every day of my life. I have two young children and a wife who I absolutely adore. I cannot see living without them, and I know that by transitioning, there are certain issues I will be thrusting upon them at such a young age, that I only hope they will be able to cope with. How can I tell my daughter that all men are not like me - that she can feel comfortable that the man she will fall in love with and decide to build a home with will not do the same thing that I feel I must do to my wife? How can I tell my son that I am not the typical male role model he will need growing up? It's horrible. There is no other way to describe being trans other than being a curse or punishment from HaShem for doing something at some point. There is also biological evidence that this is not something of one's choosing, as the hormones that wash over the fetus early in pregnancy carry the TS condition, and the only question is to what degree the individual will feel disconnected during their lifetime, and to what extremes they will go to correct the condition.
The Observer: Would you say that becoming transsexual/ becoming a member of the opposite gender is a choice?
Yonina: I wish I could say it's a choice! Realizing that you have a body that does not fit with what your mind expects to find is a big problem. It has caused me much emotional harm and suffering over many years, and has cost me a tremendous amount - in just about every manner you can expect; financially - it is incredibly expensive to be transgendered/transsexual, as the costs of the medications (hormones, etc) are quite high and there are many things I need to do to feminize my body such as hair removal, etc. It has also cost me emotionally, spiritually, physically and so many other ways all in their own way, as you can probably imagine. When I finally do make the full transition, I will have probably spent close to $50,000 just to become the woman I know I am supposed to be. That is not cheap, and is certainly not a choice.
The Observer: If it is a choice, why would one choose to do so? If it is not, how would you describe it?
Yonina: The easiest way to describe the feelings that I have is by saying that if one morning you woke up and realized you had been transformed into a man, but your mind and heart know you are a woman, you would not feel comfortable in your new body. You would try and understand what happened, and why HaShem [God] made that curse come about. I am sure that there are those in the TS community that would say being trans is not necessarily a curse, but possibly a bracha [blessing.] To me, it is a curse, and I have to deal with the consequences of it every day of my life. I have two young children and a wife who I absolutely adore. I cannot see living without them, and I know that by transitioning, there are certain issues I will be thrusting upon them at such a young age, that I only hope they will be able to cope with. How can I tell my daughter that all men are not like me - that she can feel comfortable that the man she will fall in love with and decide to build a home with will not do the same thing that I feel I must do to my wife? How can I tell my son that I am not the typical male role model he will need growing up? It's horrible. There is no other way to describe being trans other than being a curse or punishment from HaShem for doing something at some point. There is also biological evidence that this is not something of one's choosing, as the hormones that wash over the fetus early in pregnancy carry the TS condition, and the only question is to what degree the individual will feel disconnected during their lifetime, and to what extremes they will go to correct the condition.
Viewing Comments 1 - 8 of 9
Adinah Nechama Deret
posted 10/04/08 @ 6:29 PM EST
If you can contact Yonina again.... Tell her that as long as she has a scrip from her doctor she can order her estradiol and medroxyprogestine from drugstore. (Continued…)
Raquel Amram
posted 10/07/08 @ 2:41 PM EST
B"H
I did not read the entire article but this is absurd. I'm disappointed in the newspaper's choice of article subjects. Instead of speaking about more meanwhile issues we are focusing on a transsexual's life story?! How can he call himself "still frum" if he is clearly going against Halacha. (Continued…)
Chana Wiznitzer
posted 10/07/08 @ 3:51 PM EST
Raquel,
I am surprised by your reaction. Last issue, you advocated for an approach focusing upon sensitivity to those who kiss on the cheek as a greeting, which breaks the rules of shomer negiah. (Continued…)
yael
posted 10/07/08 @ 4:25 PM EST
Raquel,
Hashem made all of us imperfect. We all struggle; we all have something on our plate to deal with. I know that I'm not alone when I feel like Hashem could have made me a much better person than I am right now, when I don't understand why hashem would have made me so flawed. (Continued…)
Raquel Amram
posted 10/10/08 @ 4:34 PM EST
Yael- you are right, we are all imperfect and the article did give insight into a person's struggle- but what his "solution"? to change into a woman. that is not a solution, that is an abomination and that is telling Hashem that He made us imperfect. (Continued…)
Ruven
posted 10/10/08 @ 5:48 PM EST
olivia,what a fantastic job you did on the series!
What great message of tolerance and compassion!
Maria Ricard
posted 3/04/09 @ 2:40 AM EST
wow, this brings back some great memories! it seems like just yesterday i was watching all of these great shows, and more great shows. this homecoming theme has been so much fun!
Natasha
posted 11/09/09 @ 1:08 PM EST
I'm not sure its wrong. The Torah basically says if we alter or damage our sex organs we cannot marry, and it also says we can't sleep with the same sex. (Continued…)
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